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Shit Happens
'Shit Happens '''is the fourth episode of ''Demon Blood Teen. Characters *Charlie Ridenour *Veer *Caitlyn *Mrs. Horrorfield *Paris *Reed *Reed's Mother *Jake *Chuck (voice only) *Bernie Sanders (mentioned) Story Charlie’s eyes slowly opened. They darted across the room, taking in the unfamiliar surroundings. Why was everything covered in pink? It was that moment that he realized he was in Caitlyn’s room, not his own. He got up, glancing over to his side to find the teenage girl still fast asleep. The boy dug into his pocket, taking out his phone to see what time it was. 6:50 AM. He quietly got off the bed, heading for the door when he noticed his reflection in the mirror. Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. He had changed back to normal. His hair was brown again, his eye had turned teal. He glanced back at Caitlyn, feeling his heartbeat begin to increase. Oh, please don’t wake up, please don’t wake up, please don’t wake up. Charlie gulped. He could feel his breathing becoming heavier by the second. He knew that would increase the chances of waking up Caitlyn, but he didn’t know how to stop it. He glanced over at her window. Maybe he could leave through there. He began to walk towards it, when suddenly he stopped. Fuck. He couldn’t go out there wearing the diving suit! Then everyone would know he was Wolfgang. He then made his way over to Caitlyn’s closet, desperately looking for something to wear. He hastily picked out a pair of frilly, pink pajamas. Good enough. He headed into her en-suite bathroom, quickly changing into the pajamas. “Wolfgang? Wolfgang, where are you?” Caitlyn’s voice could be heard asking. Fuck. He bit his lip nervously, not sure what to do. Should he answer? He decided to. “Uhhh, I’m in the bathroom. I’ll be out in a few minutes! You go ahead and make yourself breakfast so long,” he answered. “Okey dokey! See ya later, hun!” she exclaimed, exiting the room. Hearing her bedroom door shut, he breathed a sigh of relief. He exited the bathroom, taking the diving suit and stuffing it into one of the various tote bags the teenage girl owned. He quickly opened the window, grabbing the bag and hopping out of it. He began to walk back home, when he was stopped by a fellow classmate of his. “Woah! What’s with the outfit, Ridenour? You look even lamer than usual!” Jake mocked. “I was guess Mrs. Horrorfield was right about him thinking he’s a girl!” Oscar said. Charlie bit his lip, looking down at the ground in embarrassment. Jake smirked, taking out his phone and snapping a picture of the teen. “We’ve gotta show this to everyone!” Jake grinned, the two of them laughing and walking off. Charlie stood there silently, a tear dripping from his eye. “Ugh. Don’t cry. Don’t cry. Don’t make yourself look like an even bigger loser than you already do,” he thought to himself, wiping the tears from his eyes and quickly running off to his house. Meanwhile, Veer had sleeping comfortably on a dog mat, when suddenly the screeching of a nosy alarm clock woke him up. He groaned, glaring at the alarm clock. “Ugh…why couldn’t I have landed in a dimension with no alarm clocks?” he thought to himself. He glanced up at Reed, who simply slammed his hand down on the snooze button and continued to sleep. It was at minute that Reed’s mother entered the room. “Reed, sweetie, it’s time to get up. You need to get ready for school,” she said. “Ugh…do I have to go to school today?” Reed asked, groggily sitting up on his bed. “Reed, you already know the answer to that question,” his mother answered. “No?” he asked, a grin on his face. His mother just stared him at him with a deadpan expression. “Ugh…fine,” he said, getting out of his bed and petting Veer. “Bye bye, buddy! I have to go school now. I’ll be back soon!” he said, grabbing his clothes and walking out the room. Watching as the door behind them closed, Veer quickly got up. “I better get back to Charlie now,” he thought to himself, running over to Reed’s window and beginning to open it He then stopped, glancing at the corner and spotting a small ziplock bag full of pet food. He grinned, quickly running over to the bag and snatching it, then jumping out the window. Upon doing so, he immediately felt his body colliding with a frilly pajama leg, knocking himself onto the floor and the other person on top of him. “Oh my gosh! I am so sorry!” Charlie apologized, quickly getting off of the other. “I didn’t mean to- Wait. Veer?” he asked, a confused tone in his voice. “Charlie? Why are you running around wearing girls’ pajamas?” Veer asked. “…It’s a long story. I’ll tell you when we get back to the house,” Charlie answered. “Sure. I can’t wait to hear this one,” he said, picking up his ziplock bag from the ground and hopping into Charlie’s tote bag. Later That Day Charlie had been walking to school, now in his regular clothes, when he heard his name being called out. He stopped, turning around to see that it was Paris. “Yo Charlie! What’s going on?” Paris said, waving at his friend and walking over to him. “Oh, uh, h-hey Paris. How are y-you doing?” Charlie asked. “I’m doing alright. Just started working on a new project yesterday,” he said. This made Charlie smile. Maybe this meant he had moved on from the whole interdimensional portal thing. “Oh, really? What are you working on now?” Charlie asked. “A truth potion. Soon the asshole that sabotaged my interdimensional portal will have no choice but to fess up,” Paris said. This made Charlie’s heart sink. Fuck. They then entered Mrs. Horrorfield’s class. Charlie’s eyes wandered over to Jake and Caitlyn, who were the only two other students in the classroom. A frown spread across his face as he realized Jake was showing Caitlyn the picture of him in her pajamas. “Oh, hey! I have a pair just like that!” exclaimed said, turning her head over to Charlie. “Charlie! I had no idea we wore the same pajamas!” she giggled. It was that moment the closet door slammed open, Mrs. Horrorfield bursting out of it. “Gah!” Charlie gasped, grabbing onto Paris for protection. “Erm…Mrs. Horrorfield. Why were you in the closet?” Paris asked. “It’s simple, Paris! I was hiding in there so that I could secretly listen in to my students’ conservations! You know, see what they’re saying when they think I’m not here,” Mrs. Horrorfield explained. “…And how often do you do this?” Paris asked, a perturbed tone in his voice. “Well, this is the first time I’ve done in the morning. Usually I do it at lunch. At least once per week,” she answered. The four students simply stared, disturbed expressions on their faces. “Yep. I’ve heard some pretty strange things during my time in there. Weirdest was probably when I had to listen to these two kids fuck on my desk,” Mrs. Horrorfield said. The students continued to stare, blinking at her. “And good lord, they made such a mess. I sentenced them to detention for the rest of the year and gave them an F. So let this serve a warning: I don’t ever wanna catch see any of you hooligans fucking on my desk. I’m talking to you, Caitlyn,” she said. “Me?! What makes you think I would do that?!” Caitlyn asked. “I don’t know. It just seems like something you’d do. But I”m going off on a tangent! Let’s get back to the point! CHARLIE! Is it true?!” Mrs. Horrorfield questioned. “Is…Is what true?” Charle asked. “IT IS TRUE THAT YOU WERE WEARING FEMALE PAJAMAS?!” Mrs. Horrorfield questioned, grabbing Jake’s phone out of his hand and showing it to Charlie. “Y-Yes…” Charlie answered. “UNACCEPTABLE!” Mrs. Horrorfield shouted, slamming his fist down on the desk. “Charlie Ridenour…I hearby sentence you to detention for the rest of this week!” “But I didn’t even break any ru-” Charlie began. “SO NOW YOU’RE BACKTALKING ME, HUH?! PRINCIPAL’S OFFICE!” Mrs. Horrorfield shouted, pointing towards the door. Charlie glared at her, tears beginning to form in his eyes. “Fine then,” he said angrily, picking up his backpack and storming out the door. Friday Morning Finally. Friday. After an absolutely godawful week (even moreso than usual), Charlie was glad that it was all finally coming towards an end. He entered his classroom, promptly sitting down and glancing towards the seat next to him. It was empty. That was strange. Paris wasn’t one to be late to class. The bell then rung, and Mrs. Horrorfield could be seen strutting into the classroom and sitting down at her desk. Hm, maybe Paris was sick. Nope. It was at that moment that Paris suddenly burst into the room, holding a briefcase in his hand and with visible bags underneath his eyes. “I HAVE ARRIVED!” he announced loudly, slamming the briefcase down onto his desk. “Paris! You’re tardy!” Mrs. Horrorfield pointed out. “You are correct, Mrs. Horrorfield. And I sincerely apologize for that. But I do have a justification. You see, I spent the entire night working on something very important. Oh yes, something very important indeed,” Paris said. “And let me guess. By ‘working on something very important’, you mean you spent the whole night watching porn and jacking off to it. Am I right?” Jake pondered. “No, Jake, that is not what I meant. While that may be how you choose to spend your time, it is certainly not how I choose to spend mine. Rather, I chose to spend my time working on a new project. As you may know, my interdimensional portal was destroyed during the Science Fair. Well, now I’ve come up with a new invention - a truth potion. Contained in this briefcase are vials for every single person attending this school. By that, I don’t just mean students. I also mean teachers, cafeteria workers, janitors, and everyone else as well. I am finally going to discover which one of you scroundels sabotaged my portal once and for all. So if the saboteur is in this room, I recommend you fess up right now. It’ll just be easier for everyone that way. Because: let’s face it. I’m going to find out either way. So - anyone who wants to admit to wrongdoing?” Paris asked. The entire class remained silent. “No one? Well, here we go then,” Paris chuckled, opening up his briefcase and taking out a vial. “Jake, how about you go first?” he asked, handing it over to him. “Sure. I’ve got nothing to hide,” Jake shrugged, putting the vial to his lips and gulping down the purple substance. “Shoot,” he said. “Did you mess up my portal?” Paris asked. “No,” he answered succintly. “Do you have a small dick?” Veer shouted through Charlie’s backpack. “YES!” Jake answered quickly. The entire class burst out out laughing at this, as Jake looked down at the floor in shame. “Oh yeah, I forgot to mention: The effects of this potion last for an hour. So you better hope no one asks you anything invasive after I’m done with my questioning,” Paris said, handing over the vial to the person sitting beside Jake. By the time the class was over, all the students had drunk the truth potion and told Paris that they had nothing to do with the portal incident. Except one. “Now there’s just one more person in this class to test,” Paris said. Charlie gulped hardly, his eyes glancing down at his desk, his body shaking in nervousness. “Mrs. Horrorfield!” Paris said, handing the teacher a vial. “WHAT?! You’re gonna make me take it?! I had nothing to do with your damn portal being broken!” Mrs. Horrorfield complained. “Then prove it,” Paris said. “Fine,” Mrs. Horrorfield said, grabbing the vial from Paris and quickly gulping it down. “I didn’t mess with your damn portal,” she said. “Hm, well it looks like no one in this class had anything to do with the portal incident. Time to check the other classes!” Paris said, beginning to march towards the door. “WAIT!” Mrs. Horrorfield shouted out urgently. “What?” Paris asked, turning back to her. “You didn’t test Charlie!” she pointed out. “I don’t need to. Charlie is my best friend - he’d never do anything to mess up my portal,” he said. “YOU DON’T KNOW THAT!” she shouted, ripping Paris’ briefcase out of his hands and quickly taking out a vial. She quickly rushed over to Charlie, grabbing his head and forcing him to drink the potion. “Now answer this me, Charlie Ridenour! Are you secretly a member of the Islamic State of Iraq and the Levant?!” Mrs. Horrorfield questioned. Charlie blinked at the question. “…N-No, no I’m not,” he answered. “WHAT?! PARIS! There must be something wrong with this potion! It’s not working!” Mrs. Horrorfield exclaimed. “Or perhaps it is working and Charlie’s just not a member of ISIS,” Paris said, a deadpan tone in his voice. “IMPOSSIBLE! I know for a fact he’s a part of ISIS!” Mrs. Horrorfield exclaimed, pointing at the brown-haired boy. “Yeah, yeah, if you insist,” Paris said, rolling his eyes and taking his briefcase back, before beginning to walk towards the exit. “Did you fuck up Paris’ portal?” Mrs. Horrorfield asked. “…Yes,” Charlie admitted. It at that moment that whole class (excluding Mrs. Horrorfield) gasped. “I ALWAYS KNEW THERE WAS SOMETHING UP WITH THIS KID! He can’t be trusted!” Mrs. Horrorfield exclaimed. “TAKE THIS CHARLIE!” she shouted, attempting to smack his head with her ruler. Charlie’s eyes widened, quickly dodging the hit and then jumping out of his seat. “What the hell is wrong with you?!” he questioned. “That is a very long list, Ridenour!” she answered, this time swinging the ruler flying towards him. He once again ducked it, the door of the classroom all of a sudden slamming open. “Hey guys! New student here! The name’s Tyce! I’m so sorry I’m late, it’s just-” the student began to explain, when they were interupted by the ruler smashing right into their face, knocking them out. Charlie stared down at the unconscious child laying down on the floor for a moment, before quickly running out of the classroom, Paris following shortly behind. “YOU CAN RUN, BUT YOU CAN’T HIDE RIDENOUR! I’LL GET YOU SOMEDAY!” Mrs. Horrorfield shouted out the door, her attention quickly turning over to Tyce. “…Alright, kids. Today we’re going to be learning about how to hide to a body,” she announced. Charlie rushed into the bathroom, slamming the door behind them and breathing heavily. Shortly after, the door opened, Paris entering. “Alright, Charlie. You have a lot of explaining to do.” “Oh, I know, I know. Paris, I’m so sorry I broke your portal! I didn’t mean to - I really didn’t. It’s just that - okay, well it opened up and, and well - this dem-” Charlie began to explain, but was interupted by one of the students in the stalls. “COULD YOU GUYS SHUT UP?! I’m trying to jack off in here!” “Why the fuck are you doing it in the school bathroom?! Wait until you get home, Chuck!” Paris shouted. “Why don’t you just mind your own fucking business, Paris?! If I want to the jack off in the school, fuck, I’ll jack off in the school bathroom!” the student shouted back. “Whatever. Enjoy yourself, Chuck. Charlie, let’s go talk about this somewhere else,” Paris said. “Oh, I’m definitely enjoying myself alright,” Chuck said through the stall. Paris rolled his eyes, opening the door and exiting the bathroom, Charlie following shortly behind him. “Here - let’s talk in the janitor’s closet,” he said, the two quickly running in there, slamming the door shut. “Alright. Go on,” Paris said. “Okay, well…This-this demon jumped out of your portal! I was shocked, and so I-I spilt the soda I was drinking on your portal. I’m so fucking clumsy…I’m s-sorry…” Charlie whimpered, glancing down at the floor in regret. “Yep! And it’s all true too!” Veer exclaimed, suddenly popping out of Charlie’s backpack. “GAH!” Paris gasped, dropping his briefcase on the ground. “See, accidentally dropping stuff is perfectly normal reaction to randomly seeing a demon pop out of nowhere! You can’t really blame ol’ Charlie here,” Veer said, ruffling the superpowered teen’s hair. Paris simply blinked at the demon, before picking his briefcase back up and taking out a vial from it, handing it to Veer. “Here. Take this. I wanna get your side of the story too,” Paris said. “Sure, kid,” he said, grabbing the vial and gulping it down. “What’s up?” he asked. “Are you evil?” “WHAT?! Me, evil?! Dude, I regularly help stop a mob boss! You really gonna ask if I’m evil?! It’s cuz I’m a demon, isn’t it? Be honest. That’s why, isn’t it? That’s why. Geez, you fucking bigot. Go fuck yourself,” Veer said. “But yeah. That mob boss is always tryna get my blood. He has some kind of sickness - and he needs my blood in order to help rejuvenate himself. He finally ended up getting it the other day - he had it in a syringe in everything. I took it back before he was able to inject himself with the stuff though. He got his goons to start chasing after me, and all of a sudden this random portal popped out of nowhere. So, you know, I decided to hop in. Ended up in this weirdo universe. Me and ol’ Charlie boy started off on the wrong foot. Accidentally stabbed the guy with the syringe. He ended up inheriting my demonic powers and used to them to save some chick that goes here from this guy in the dark alley who wanted to steal her purse. And then-” “Wait a minute. Saved a girl from some a guy in a dark alley who wanted to steal her purse? Are you…are you saying that C-Charlie’s Wolfgang Steel?!” Paris questioned. “No, I’m saying he’s Bernie Sanders. OF COURSE I’M SAYING THAT CHARLIE’S WOLFGANG STEEL, YOU FUCKING IDIOT!” Veer shouted. Paris quickly turned to Charlie, who by now had transformed into his superpowered form. His eyes and hair were once again purple. “Holy shit,” Paris gasped. Category:Demon Blood Teen Category:Episodes